As I tried to figure out how to still spread holiday cheer, it dawned on me the most meaningful presents I’d received weren’t things that could be purchased at a mall: the black-and-white picture of our son, Justen, in an antique frame; a rosebush my friend Barbara helped me plant in our backyard; a series of Bible verses my friend Katie put in bright yellow frames; my grandmother’s recipe box my mom gave me after Grandma Edna passed away.

I realized then, I, too could come up with thoughtful gifts yet stay within our Christmas budget. Here are 20 inexpensive gift ideas that convey the love of Christ in a special way to others:

1. Now You’re Cookin’. People constantly look for new dishes to put on their table. Why not compile the recipes you’re famous for into a hand-made cookbook? For an extra treat, add a jar of homemade salsa to inspire the future cook.
2. Two-for-Two. Last Christmas, my friend Kimberly, who lives 400 miles away, gave me a one-year devotional with this note: “I bought two copies of this book—one for me and one for you. Even though we live apart, we’ll always be on the same page.”
3. Double It Up. Always get double prints when developing film. When I leaf through my pictures at the drug store, I mentally decide who gets the second print of my favorite snaps. I recently came across a great picture of my mom and daughter. While still at the drugstore, I found a frame for it. Instantly, I had the perfect Christmas gift for my hard-to-buy-for mom.
4. Memory Makers. Here’s another way to use double prints: Take a selection of pictures and slip them into a memory book to send to faraway relatives.
5. Coupon Craze. My friend Tokoshi is a genius at flower arranging. As a gift to me, she printed coupons redeemable for floral arranging lessons taught by her. She put the coupons in a bag with floral scissors and a list of other items I needed to bring to “school”. Whether your coupons are to teach your niece to bake or your mom to scuba dive, you’ll be giving two gifts in one: the lessons and your time.
6. This Is Your Life. When my friend Linda turned 50, her best friend gave her the issue of Life magazine from the week she was born. This inexpensive gift she scooped up at an antique store was the hit of the party.
7. Letter Brigade. My friend Bill wanted to give his wife, Patti, something special while staying within their newlywed budget. On the sly, Bill contacted Patti’s closest friends and relatives and asked them to write letters to her about why she’s special to them. Bill had the letters mailed to his office, then wrapped them up to give Patti on Christmas.
8. Reading Room. For your child’s teacher, try an age-appropriate book signed by your child to add to the in-class library.
9. The Gift of Paper. Give your child’s teacher a gift certificate to your local bookstore, coffee shop, or café, along with a note of appreciation. In Proverbs 12:25, it says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
10. Game Time. Age-appropriate games are great to play in the classroom on rainy days.
11. Trinkets for Teachers. Disposable cameras, blank videotapes, roller-ball pens, note cards, and stamps are often expenses that come out of the teacher’s pocket.
12. Subscribe Today. Do you have a budding shutterbug in the family? Show your support for your child’s passion by giving him a subscription to a photography magazine. Buy the current issue off the newsstand and wrap it up with a few rolls of film.
13. Custom Costuming. Stretch your children’s imaginations. Decorate a box to hold cast-off uniforms, jewelry, hats, and shoes to create a treasure chest of dress-up clothes.
14. Play It Again. Make a recording of yourself reading your child’s favorite book so he can hear it over and over. This gift will be appreciated by your child as well as the baby sitter!
15. Auto Shop. For the car lover, grab a bucket and fill it with car-care items: chamois, wheel cleaner, glass cleaner, leather conditioner, and an air freshener. Many of these items can be purchased in “trial size” bottles at an auto parts shop. (If you’re lucky, you may get your car cleaned, too.)
16. Personal Shopper for Dad. Offer to shop for the women in your dad’s life. If your father’s anything like mine, this is the best gift you can give him—and your mom!
17. Total Control. A master remote control will let your guy have reign over the stereo, DVD player, VCR, TV, and surround sound all at once. There are many remotes that will do the job for under $20.
18. Family Field trip. Give a family membership to a local museum or zoo. Be sure to find out what special events and benefits exist for members: a special newsletter for kids, members-only hours, discounts on programs and at the gift shop.
19. Cherished Moments. Last Christmas, my friend Vikki received a “Memory Jar” from her friend Dawn just before Dawn moved out of state. On pieces of paper Dawn wrote her favorite memories they’d shared and put them in a decorative jar. Now, even though they’re apart, they keep filling the jar by adding things they continue to remember or new memories they make on trips to visit each other.
20. Baby Blessing. When our kids were young, our neighbors prepaid our baby sitter for five hours. We had a wonderful night out, and our kids had a great night in with their favorite baby sitter. If you’re short on cash, do the baby-sitting yourself.

With a little prayer, creativity, and thoughtful planning, you’ll have a gift that will be both lovingly given and joyfully received.

The irony? Some of the first people who answered were my friends on Facebook – one of my biggest time suckers if I’m not careful. (Anyone else? Or am I alone in this?)

I know you are going to expect me to say things like “Give up 30 minutes of TV,” and for some of us, that may be required, but I also know that your 60 minutes of Glee may be the only real downtime that you have. (And by downtime, I mean watching Glee, folding laundry, paying bills on your laptop and packing kids school lunches in the next room…)

So here are a few things that have been working for me lately. (As technology changes, so does my list of how to save time.)

1. Getting Groceries Delivered  When I’m on deadline for writing a book, and showering suddenly becomes optional, I go to my saved list on Safeway.com and have my groceries delivered to me. Sometimes I get coupons in my e-mail for free delivery, and sometimes it costs me around $7. But, if $7 can be traded for a shower, I’m on board. Another variation on this is to swap off with a neighbor for that mid-week Oh no we are out of milk and peanut butter. Be sure to give detailed lists so it doesn’t create more problems than it’s worth.
2. Making the Kids Do It  OK, if your child is 18 months, skip this tip. Wait – no! Read it! Be planning in advance when your kids can take over certain chores – dishes, garbage, vacuuming, sweeping and mopping. Training ‘em early, train ‘em young, train ‘em often…
3. Limit Computer Time  I am now trying to give myself a two hour window each night where I don’t get on the computer for work, play or Facebook.  When 90% of your job is on your HP laptop, that can be a challenge, but I have found that if I know I am going to have a definite end to my work day, I tend to get more things finished than if I fool myself into believing I have all night.
4. Make an Appointment with Your TV  Remember when we were growing up and we knew we had to be home on Thursday nights because that was the night that The Cosby Show was on (OK, maybe it was just me who had a thing for Heathcliff…)? Now I never know what night anything is on because our TIVO is recording something, every moment of the day. How great – I can watch anytime I want. The problem? I can watch anytime I want. I am setting aside some time to watch the shows I really love (Modern Family, Kell on Earth, 30 Rock etc.) and shutting off the TV so I don’t watch hours of Dateline on ID. (OK, if I am sick in bed with a cold I will have an ID marathon…)
5. Nighttime Routines Setting the coffee the night before, putting out my walk-the-dog tennies, packing up my bag to put by the front door the night before, all of these little items not only get me out the door faster in the morning, but they let me sleep better the night before as I don’t wake up every three minutes thinking to myself “Wait, did I remember to…?”

Q4U – What is the best time-saving tip you have been using lately? Please share your wisdom in the comments below. I would love to put together a resource of all the best ideas – won’t you contribute your brilliance?

According to the feedback I’ve received on the project, many of you, if not the majority, love seeing what other women are doing to make it work for them.

I have the privilege of being in the email loop of three great and funny girls who are holding each other accountable. Here’s a rundown from S about what she had in store for her guy this week and some very cool changes she is experiencing:

“Last week I arranged for a babysitter and B and I went out on a real date!!! This is HUGE for us. We have not been on a date just because in well over a year. I hate to admit this because I know it’s bad, but true.

Anyway, we had a lovely time strolling along in Saratoga and went to an outdoor restaurant in Los Gatos for lunch. It was so much fun getting to know each other again and having lunch and conversation without the kids interrupting!

I also made sure I made some of his favorite dishes for Thanksgiving.

I have been trying to make the bed every morning because I know he loves it when I do that and I usually don’t. (Something else I hate to admit!)

I also spent a large part of my weekend out in the freezing cold helping him build this project even though all I really wanted to be doing was to be inside setting up my Christmas decorations!

Talk to you soon,

S

P.S. I did not have time to get new sexy PJs, so one night I just wore nothing. He noticed! Ha Ha.”

Cut roses are kept in cold storage at floral shops to keep them from blooming. This way, once they are exposed to warmth and a little natural sunlight, they will open with glory. The lovely fragrance fills your home, and the spectacular color of the flowers impresses all who enter.

Acceptance, appreciation, and validation are the warmth that will cause your husband’s personality and true self to bloom. Disapproval and disparaging remarks will only shut him down, not change him; worse, they will cause him to retreat from you emotionally.

Men crave respect and must feel valued and important for who they are. Valuing the differences between you will foster an attitude of gratitude, and help you to refocus on your husband’s good points, instead of lingering on your grievances.

Around our house we refer to my husband Jeff as “Felix Unger” (the neat one in The Odd Couple). Sometimes as I do the dishes I can feel his eyes on my back…watching me. He watches me load the dishwasher and wants to give me a little instruction. He watches me wipe off the counters and would like to give me efficiency tips. He watches me put food scraps down the garbage disposal and can hardly refrain from offering suggestions.

Sometimes if I catch his eyes wandering over to the sink while I’m doing dishes, I’ll say, “Stop watching me!”—and he quickly averts his eyes. A girl’s gotta have boundaries, after all.

But all kidding aside, Jeff’s perfectionist personality is who he is. I have learned to deeply appreciate the fact that he likes to vacuum, take out the trash, and generally make things neat. If I don’t take myself too seriously, then I can laugh at our differences and value my “Felix” for the stand-up guy he is.

Guest blogger Paula Friedrichsen is a conference speaker and the author of “The Man You Always Wanted is The One You Already Have” (Multnomah 2007). She lives in Northern California with her husband and teenaged daughter. www.PFMinistries.com

 We have a Winner!!! Our first prize-winner for the Husband Project Kick-Off has been notified – as soon as she gives me the OK to publish her name, I will tell the world. She has won “The Man You Always Wanted is the One You Already Have” by our own Paula Friedrichsen. (You can check out the book here at Amazon!)

So – gearing up for the 10th – it is time to get two other ladies on board to plan and scheme and bless the socks off your men. SO – go ask a couple of friends to do the Project with you. Have them sign-up for the daily e-mails (that way they can be eligible for the drawings over the next week!)

Here is a recent posting I did that has a great letter to ask your friends to do the project with you.

 Secret Contest

Only for the wives who are signed up on the daily e-mails. I want this blog to be a fun exchange of idea between all of you. SO , in that spirit…

Everyone who comments on a blog each week will be entered into a drawing for a $10 Starbucks Card. (Have you gotten the idea that I am a Starbucks fan?!?) The more times you comment, the more times you are entered. Ask a questions, offer an idea – whatever. Our first drawing will be next Wednesday, so get those fingers typing!

Now for the post:

One of the tenants of The Husband Project is that every job is more fun when your friends are involved. One of our wives, Sugga-Lamb, (love the nickname, teehee) gave me a sample of the letter she sent to get her friends on board.

“Hello ladies, I’m participating in a secret experiment called the 21 Day Project. It is actually a ‘husband’ project and it is to be kept secret from our husbands. I’m going to give extra love and support to my husband for the next 21 days, unconditionally. Sounds easy enough, right? Well with the busyness of our everyday lives it will be easy to put the project to the side…something I don’t want to do. To keep me on track I’m required to have 2 accountability partners. I’ve emailed 4 people that I feel will be the best supporters of this project for me. That’s where you come in. Please check out the website at http://www.thehusbandproject.org & let me know if this is something you’d like to do with me. If you’d like to participate as well, great! The more the merrier! Thanks, ladies!”

Feel free to copy this letter and pass it along to the women you want to do The Project with. Have fun!