Archive for the ‘tips and ideas’ Category

The first year I wasn’t working full-time at Christmas, my husband and I tightened our belts in every way possible, including trimming our Christmas gift budget.

As I tried to figure out how to still spread holiday cheer, it dawned on me the most meaningful presents I’d received weren’t things that could be purchased at a mall: Read the rest of this entry »

We have been doing the dating challenge this month and when I asked you for your top reasons why you don’t date – time was at the top of the list.

The irony? Some of the first people who answered were my friends on Facebook – one of my biggest time suckers if I’m not careful. (Anyone else? Or am I alone in this?)

I know you are going to expect me to say things like “Give up 30 minutes of TV,” and for some of us, that may be required, but I also know that your 60 minutes of Glee may be the only real downtime that you have. (And by downtime, I mean watching Glee, folding laundry, paying bills on your laptop and packing kids school lunches in the next room…)

So here are a few things that have been working for me lately. (As technology changes, so does my list of how to save time.)

1. Getting Groceries Delivered  When I’m on deadline for writing a book, and showering suddenly becomes optional, I go to my saved list on Safeway.com and have my groceries delivered to me. Sometimes I get coupons in my e-mail for free delivery, and sometimes it costs me around $7. But, if $7 can be traded for a shower, I’m on board. Another variation on this is to swap off with a neighbor for that mid-week Oh no we are out of milk and peanut butter. Be sure to give detailed lists so it doesn’t create more problems than it’s worth.
2. Making the Kids Do It  OK, if your child is 18 months, skip this tip. Wait – no! Read it! Be planning in advance when your kids can take over certain chores – dishes, garbage, vacuuming, sweeping and mopping. Training ‘em early, train ‘em young, train ‘em often…
3. Limit Computer Time  I am now trying to give myself a two hour window each night where I don’t get on the computer for work, play or Facebook.  When 90% of your job is on your HP laptop, that can be a challenge, but I have found that if I know I am going to have a definite end to my work day, I tend to get more things finished than if I fool myself into believing I have all night.
4. Make an Appointment with Your TV  Remember when we were growing up and we knew we had to be home on Thursday nights because that was the night that The Cosby Show was on (OK, maybe it was just me who had a thing for Heathcliff…)? Now I never know what night anything is on because our TIVO is recording something, every moment of the day. How great – I can watch anytime I want. The problem? I can watch anytime I want. I am setting aside some time to watch the shows I really love (Modern Family, Kell on Earth, 30 Rock etc.) and shutting off the TV so I don’t watch hours of Dateline on ID. (OK, if I am sick in bed with a cold I will have an ID marathon…)
5. Nighttime Routines Setting the coffee the night before, putting out my walk-the-dog tennies, packing up my bag to put by the front door the night before, all of these little items not only get me out the door faster in the morning, but they let me sleep better the night before as I don’t wake up every three minutes thinking to myself “Wait, did I remember to…?”

Q4U – What is the best time-saving tip you have been using lately? Please share your wisdom in the comments below. I would love to put together a resource of all the best ideas – won’t you contribute your brilliance?

Hi, ladies -

According to the feedback I’ve received on the project, many of you, if not the majority, love seeing what other women are doing to make it work for them.

I have the privilege of being in the email loop of three great and funny girls who are holding each other accountable. Here’s a rundown from S about what she had in store for her guy this week and some very cool changes she is experiencing:

“Last week I arranged for a babysitter and B and I went out on a real date!!! Read the rest of this entry »

By Paula Friedrichsen

Cut roses are kept in cold storage at floral shops to keep them from blooming. This way, once they are exposed to warmth and a little natural sunlight, they will open with glory. The lovely fragrance fills your home, and the spectacular color of the flowers impresses all who enter.

Acceptance, appreciation, and validation are the warmth that will cause your husband’s personality and true self to bloom. Read the rest of this entry »

Hi ladies -

 We have a Winner!!! Our first prize-winner for the Husband Project Kick-Off has been notified – as soon as she gives me the OK to publish her name, I will tell the world. She has won “The Man You Always Wanted is the One You Already Have” by our own Paula Friedrichsen. (You can check out the book here at Amazon!)

So – gearing up for the 10th – it is time to get two other ladies on board to plan and scheme and bless the socks off your men. SO – go ask a couple of friends to do the Project with you. Have them sign-up for the daily e-mails (that way they can be eligible for the drawings over the next week!)

Here is a recent posting I did that has a great letter to ask your friends to do the project with you.

 Secret Contest

Only for the wives who are signed up on the daily e-mails. I want this blog to be a fun exchange of idea between all of you. SO , in that spirit…

Everyone who comments on a blog each week will be entered into a drawing for a $10 Starbucks Card. (Have you gotten the idea that I am a Starbucks fan?!?) The more times you comment, the more times you are entered. Ask a questions, offer an idea – whatever. Our first drawing will be next Wednesday, so get those fingers typing!

Now for the post:

One of the tenants of The Husband Project is that every job is more fun when your friends are involved. One of our wives, Sugga-Lamb, (love the nickname, teehee) gave me a sample of the letter she sent to get her friends on board.

“Hello ladies, I’m participating in a secret experiment called the 21 Day Project. It is actually a ‘husband’ project and it is to be kept secret from our husbands. I’m going to give extra love and support to my husband for the next 21 days, unconditionally. Sounds easy enough, right? Well with the busyness of our everyday lives it will be easy to put the project to the side…something I don’t want to do. To keep me on track I’m required to have 2 accountability partners. I’ve emailed 4 people that I feel will be the best supporters of this project for me. That’s where you come in. Please check out the website at http://www.thehusbandproject.org & let me know if this is something you’d like to do with me. If you’d like to participate as well, great! The more the merrier! Thanks, ladies!”

Feel free to copy this letter and pass it along to the women you want to do The Project with. Have fun!

One of the tenants of The Husband Project is that every job is more fun when your friends are involved. One of our wives, Sugga-Lamb, (love the nickname, teehee) gave me a sample of the letter she sent to get her friends on board.

“Hello ladies, I’m participating in a secret experiment called the 21 Day Project. It is actually a ‘husband’ project and it is to be kept secret from our husbands. I’m going to give extra love and support to my husband for the next 21 days, unconditionally. Sounds easy enough, right? Well with the busyness of our everyday lives it will be easy to put the project to the side…something I don’t want to do. To keep me on track I’m required to have 2 accountability partners. I’ve emailed 4 people that I feel will be the best supporters of this project for me. That’s where you come in. Please check out the website at www.21dayproject.com & let me know if this is something you’d like to do with me. If you’d like to participate as well, great! The more the merrier! Thanks, ladies!”Feel free to copy this letter and pass it along to the women you want to do The Project with. have fun!

Diane had a great question:

“I have a question already. Both my husband and I travel. He is in Houston today. Should I skip the day or just wait until he comes back and do the day I missed?”

Thanks for asking, Diane. Things can, and often do, come up within a three-week time frame. (I travel so much that if I had to wait to do the project until my husband and I were together for 21 Days, this book/blog would never have been written.) So, we must be a little flexible.

Go ahead and still do a “project” that doesn’t involve him physically being there. Some ideas:

• Write him a note that he’ll find when he gets back from the trip.
• Plan a dinner out for when he’s home and pull together your outfit ahead of time.
• Eflirt with him (an e-mail or text message) while he’s away.
• Buy his favorite snack (you can actually give it to him on another day).
• Try and get to one of his “honey do list” items so he doesn’t have to.

So keep going, full steam ahead. This will keep you focused on him while he’s away, and hopefully will make you miss him as you do these little things for him.

Kathi – Your Project Coordinator

Hi Project Managers – I know many of you will not see this post until tomorrow, as you’re in the kitchen basting and microwaving at this very moment. (MY husband is making his world famous salsa which requires a great deal of counter space, so I thought I would clear out for a moment.)

It doesn’t matter when you see the post, because this whole project is like one big Thanksgiving Day. We are learning to be grateful for the guy we already have, instead of looking over the fence at the guy who takes the garbage out without being reminded.

We of The Husband Project are actively seeking to change our marriages, not waiting around for the men in our life to change before we do. It is the extreme version of marital chicken – seeing who is going to blink first before we will be nice. Not for us – we are choosing to be nice, everyday.

One of my favorite quotes in the world is from George Bernard Shaw:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I can think of no higher service in life than to make the most important man in our life feel special.

I pray that you choose to have a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving.

Kathi – Your Project Coordinator

Hello again, gals…

Here’s the final exchange between the three Project Managers; this from a wife who’s really given thought to her husband’s personal favorites:

“I totally agree with you M. My husband has not said anything. Sometimes I think I could drop a brick on his head and he wouldn’t notice! Maybe it is a guy thing! Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t we all love some great tools to help us bring a plan together?

Thanks to our amazing editor, Teresa, we have the entire 21 days of The Husband Project in one handy download:

Download the Husband Project

Plus, here is a blank calendar to plan out all of your activities for your 21 days:

Blank Calendar

My suggestion? Print it out and write in what you are going to do each day to bless your husband (but keep it hidden from him!). You can copy it and share it with your accountablity partners so they know how to encourage you/pray for you/ kick you in the butt.

After you get your calendar together, your next step is to get your To-Do List organized. This is the list of all the things you need to do to launch the project.

Download it here:

The Husband Project To Do List

This is where it all happens – need a babysitter for a week from now so you can go out to dinner – write it down. Want to special order his favorite kind of licorice from the classic candy website? Write it down. By planning ahead, you’ll be able to do a lot in advance and not have to stress out the night you’re suppose to make his favorite meal.