Archive for November, 2007

OK, so I may be dating myself here.

Growing up, I loved Mr. Rogers. Although, I have to admit, the Neighborhood of Make Believe freaked me out.

I think what I loved about Mr. Rogers was his gentle attitude; and if you ask me what I remember most about the show, it would definitely be his “getting home” routine.

I loved his routine of changing from his work clothes into his “at home” duds. His transition each day marked the end of one part of his day and the beginning of the more relaxing, comfortable part.

There’s something inside our husband that craves that transition. Most men need some way to signal the end of work and the beginning of home — laying down for a little bit, reading a magazine, going to their “cave,” or yes, by changing into their favorite light blue cardigan.

Find a way to build that time into his day.

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) chocolate chip morsels

Directions:
PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Even if your marriage has stayed rockin’ from the beginning, it’s a great idea to keep ourselves in check as far as our attitudes and actions. I love this testimony below because it reminds us that this is not so much about our guys and how they behave as it is about us. This is from a new friend in Texas…

“I wanted to personally give you feedback on the project. I received my friend’s call to participate in your project at a perfect time. I was becoming a bit resentful and bitter over my husband’s schedule. As I told you, he has been very busy with his work and ministry. Well of course, I have been praying that he would “hear from God” and be willing to change jobs and even change churches, but this project is changing my attitude towards him and his work. I realize that I had become caught up in my daily responsibilities and have failed to be “purposeful in loving and supporting him”. I can say that I am enjoying the work in progress and Hubby has been responsive. He’s been more positive, open, and has even made it home a couple of times in between work and rehearsals. Thanks again.”

Encouraging words for all of us, don’t you think?

Diane had a great question:

“I have a question already. Both my husband and I travel. He is in Houston today. Should I skip the day or just wait until he comes back and do the day I missed?”

Thanks for asking, Diane. Things can, and often do, come up within a three-week time frame. (I travel so much that if I had to wait to do the project until my husband and I were together for 21 Days, this book/blog would never have been written.) So, we must be a little flexible.

Go ahead and still do a “project” that doesn’t involve him physically being there. Some ideas:

• Write him a note that he’ll find when he gets back from the trip.
• Plan a dinner out for when he’s home and pull together your outfit ahead of time.
• Eflirt with him (an e-mail or text message) while he’s away.
• Buy his favorite snack (you can actually give it to him on another day).
• Try and get to one of his “honey do list” items so he doesn’t have to.

So keep going, full steam ahead. This will keep you focused on him while he’s away, and hopefully will make you miss him as you do these little things for him.

Kathi – Your Project Coordinator

One of the tenants of The Husband Project is that every job is more fun when your friends are involved. One of our wives, Sugga-Lamb, (love the nickname, teehee) gave me a sample of the letter she sent to get her friends on board.

“Hello ladies, I’m participating in a secret experiment called the 21 Day Project. It is actually a ‘husband’ project and it is to be kept secret from our husbands. I’m going to give extra love and support to my husband for the next 21 days, unconditionally. Sounds easy enough, right? Well with the busyness of our everyday lives it will be easy to put the project to the side…something I don’t want to do. To keep me on track I’m required to have 2 accountability partners. I’ve emailed 4 people that I feel will be the best supporters of this project for me. That’s where you come in. Please check out the website at www.21dayproject.com & let me know if this is something you’d like to do with me. If you’d like to participate as well, great! The more the merrier! Thanks, ladies!”Feel free to copy this letter and pass it along to the women you want to do The Project with. have fun!

Hi Project Managers – I know many of you will not see this post until tomorrow, as you’re in the kitchen basting and microwaving at this very moment. (MY husband is making his world famous salsa which requires a great deal of counter space, so I thought I would clear out for a moment.)

It doesn’t matter when you see the post, because this whole project is like one big Thanksgiving Day. We are learning to be grateful for the guy we already have, instead of looking over the fence at the guy who takes the garbage out without being reminded.

We of The Husband Project are actively seeking to change our marriages, not waiting around for the men in our life to change before we do. It is the extreme version of marital chicken – seeing who is going to blink first before we will be nice. Not for us – we are choosing to be nice, everyday.

One of my favorite quotes in the world is from George Bernard Shaw:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I can think of no higher service in life than to make the most important man in our life feel special.

I pray that you choose to have a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving.

Kathi – Your Project Coordinator

Hi project managers -

I know life is crazy and paying attention to your guy can go by the wayside. If you have fallen off the project wagon and cannot get back up, it is time to get back in the saddle. Missed a day (or a week)? No prob. Just start where you are and do what you can. This is not about perfection, it is about progress.

Are you running out of ideas? Here is a plan for week 2 from a brand new mom. She has done a great job in planning because she KEPT IT SIMPLE. Do what you can, when you can.

MM – thanks for the great ideas – we will be hearing from more guest bloggers in the coming days.

Bonus day: since I’m up in our cold house nursing at night, I’ve been sleeping in yoga pants and a t-shirt for really practical purposes. So, I vamped it up by trading the t-shirt for a tank top. And you know what? He noticed! I think it’s the big nursing cha-chas!

Day 8: I did day 8 on day 10, but I made a batch of caramel corn for a women’s event at church and we doubled the caramel and made extra for him. He got a bunch of it, and was happy. Location didn’t matter.

Day 9: I HATE leftovers and trash. So, I emptied the mystery Tupperwares of old food and dumped the trash too. J noticed.

Day 10: J got me a maple leaf necklace when my son was born, so I wore it. It poked the baby in the head, but that’s all right!

Day 11: to remove stress, I scheduled and facilitated getting J’s car serviced. Worked out getting the car dropped off, picked up and dealt with. He HATES car repair people, so he thanked me and mentioned how much easier it was for me to do it. Hahaha.

Day 12: noticed his great stuff…..I do this anyway. I think my husband is fantastic.

Day 13: I called and told him I loved him and sent a naughty text.

Day 14: tonight I will rub his shoulders as he has had the baby in a front pack most of the evening and I’ll bet they hurt.

Wow – things are moving fast and furious here in Projectland.

I love our new look – thanks to webmaster extraordinaire Roger. (Of course, he’s not reading any of the posts, just making us all look more beautiful in the process. Isn’t that what every girl wants?)

Please continue to roll with me and the Project as I figure out all the bells and whistles of blogging. Trust me, we are going to have fun.

Kathi – Your Project Coordinator

Order at:

• Amazon.com
• Barnes and Noble
• Borders
• Books-a-Million 

The Husband Project

The Purpose of The Husband Project is to spend 21 Days loving and supporting our husbands, on purpose.

1. Download the First Week’s Projects

2. Find two other friends to hold you accountable on The Husband Project. It doesn’t matter if they’re phone friends, internet buddies, or if you all decide to meet at the Starbucks down the street. Location is not important. Consistency is.

3. Have your two friends send an e-mail at editor@21dayproject.com and sign up here on the blog. We will get the introductory e-mails out to them.

4. Decide on a Start Date. It can be tomorrow, or two weeks from now. I would really suggest starting within the next week so we can all go along as a group, but do what works best for you.

5. Look over the first week’s “Projects” and come up with a plan. (By the way, this is a secret from your husband, so don’t tell him what you are up to.) YOU decide how you are going to bless your husband each day. I have offered ideas, but it’s up to you to decide how that day’s project will be carried out. Plus, I need you to share your ideas (either by e-mailing us at editor@21dayproject.com, or by going to the blog and posting at www.21dayproject.com).

Write down in advance what you’re going to do for each day. (There is a space provided on each day’s form.) I have recently lost a bunch of weight. One of the key elements in doing this (besides putting down the chocolate) has been to write down what plan to eat, not keeping a log of what I ate. Put purpose and a plan into work – that is how you will see results.

You will also need to make some other plans along the way. Is there a night when you’ll need babysitting? Is there a special candy that you can only get online and need to order now for next Saturday’s project? Order it in advance so you will be ready.

6. Share your Project Plan with your accountability partners and with the rest of the 21 Day community. Who knows, they may have some great, creative ideas to share.

7. Be Flexible. If one of the projects doesn’t line up with your husband’s schedule, swap it for another day. If food does nothing for him, find another way to treat your hubby – this is all about you connecting with him. The intention of the Husband Project is not to make you crazy, but to find new ways to bless and support your husband. Just do something, everyday.

8. Send me your feedback.

Let me know what is working, and what isn’t.

Let me know if something is not clear.

Let me know if your heart attitude changes in any way during the 21 Days.

Let me know if your husband is blessed at any point during the process.

If your comments can be posted for the world to see, go to: www.21dayproject.com and list your ideas under the appropriate day – hopefully you will inspire some other wife.

Otherwise, e-mail us at editor@21dayproject.com for any other comments that may be too personal for a website.

Can’t wait –

Kathi

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